Thursday, December 22, 2011

Where it all started...

I believe this is the time to continue writing about what happened since the last post, moreover, this is the month where it all started...

*continue from previous post*

I was really looking forward to start my first conversion with him, but when the moment finally come true, I am just stuck for words. I just do not know where to begin. It was difficult, as I can see he don't tend to ask many constructive question. Ok, I don't blame him. He was not as keen as I do.

SG was trying to bridge our connection, his conversation usually hover on our similarity. As I mentioned before, Latte is just not keen to know about the similarities and in fact he find it annoying.

Being stuck for words, I just ramble whatever that comes into my mind, I remembered I start with telling about myself, about my past, in fact I was continuing for non stop and I find it to be kinda wrong. Why am I exposing so much to someone I just get to know?

All I got from him was...


Every reply of his come with "Awww..."

It starts to annoy me a little, my first impression was that he must be the feminine and bitchy type!

I still remembered his profile picture on MSN, the guy with the DSLR wearing a blue polo tee. I suddenly just felt we will not get along after all and he definitely will not see anything in me.

We did talk a bit, and somehow we are talking among ourselves and ignoring SG. He complained that he is kinda annoyed with SG @.@

I do not remember how our first conversation ended, if I not mistaken he need go sleep and went offline after wishing good night. Did he even wish good night? LOL!

After that, I was complaining to SG on why he need to reply everything with "awww..."?

The first conversation was not a fruitful one. My hope on him kinda diminish. I did not continue having much thought.

Why would he like me? People like him tend to find guy like me too dull and boring for their liking...

With that, I just moved on a little from this guy and finding no reason to go online, I did not keep in touch with him for few days.

If we both ever online, I just remembered having really short question and I just went offline after receiving my answer.

Not even a goodbye i think?

Till today, this has been the evidence he hold strongly that I am the cold one who seems unapproachable!

How can that be? I always think he is the cold hearted one! He didn't even show any sign of being interested in me. He did not even ask for my Facebook add!

No major conversation, not even on New Year eve.

Until the very beginning of this year... :)


Saturday, September 10, 2011

A stranger named Latte ^^

It all started exactly towards the end of December, it was during my relief moment from the trouble I got myself into and after the dreadful final exams of mine. At that point of time, I wasn't thinking much but enjoying every bits of my holiday and feeling grateful that the worst is finally over. Year 2010 definitely started out good but gets rough towards the end.

I was catching up with SG after not keeping in touch with him for a few months. Although we had lost contact for a while, the reconnection has suddenly brought back many conversations and gossips into our friendship. He is a brother figure to me and I certainly could share with him almost everthing. I could still remember that we had our random phone conversation one afternoon and he told me something random that got my interest and curiosity all hiked up for the day.

It seems like during our lost in touch moment, he had found a replacement of me. It was a random blogger he recently known.

The first thing he asked me was, "Do you know who is Latte?"

"Latte??", I have no idea at first who this person was but after fetching more info I knew that such person exist and I admitted I have stalked his profile before on some dating website. The reason why I knew a stranger named Latte existed is because Latte happened to be a close friend of my high school mate.

In fact, I know such person named Latte existed even a year back, he has this profile picture of him in white posting like a ninja =.=! ok, it looks like a ninja pose to I do not know exactly how he looks like and was certainly not interested in him. LOL

SG: Do you know I was talking to Latte few times on MSN and the more I talked to him, the more I felt like whatever he said sounds familiar to me and it seems like I have heard those words before from somewhere.

Me: Huh?

SG: I proceeded to ask about his about his family background and his horoscope and was in disbelief that it was identical to yours. That is when I knew I have just found your long lost twin!

Me: Really? OMG! I cannot believe that! You must introduce him to me!

We were busy discussing about this long lost twin of mine and SG showed me his FB and his blog. Latte's FB was privatised and I could not get much info about him except for the About Me that SG helped to copy paste to let me read. After reading his About Me and his blog, I could certainly conclude that he and me does have a lot in common and I was still in disbelief!!

I kept thinking about him for the whole day and in my mind I was really looking forward to knowing him. I somehow has this feeling that he and me will make good friends or at least be interested in each other. Maybe we could become brothers?? Lol..I always wish I had someone my around my age that I can relate to.

SG told me that this Latte guy usually will not be online in the afternoon or maybe only a short while, he is usually active during the night. I have quite irregular online timing and there wasn't any opportunity for SG to introduce him to me. SG has started mentioning about me to Latte and from the feedback I got, Latte only keep saying, "I am not unique anymore :("

Somehow that response demotivated me a little as I felt that Latte is not really happy knowing there is someone like him. SG has showed him my FB and I do not get any friend request from him. The only thing he responsed when he saw my FB profile picture was, "Ooo.." and nothing more :( There wasn't any feedback from SG that Latte was keen in knowing me.

I was thinking maybe I am not his type? I admitted that I have nothing special that capture people's interest. I have my own ego and did not want to send any friend request to Latte on FB. I find it pointless to have someone on FB that you do not even talk to or know >

Through out the time, the only info I got about Latte was from SG. Later SG even met up with Latte and told him about me. Latte's response was, "I'm not unique anymore :("

28/12/2010- SG made a long list and posted on FB of our things in common between Latte and me. I was even more interested when I saw how many common things we have. However, Latte's response was kinda cold and it seems like he is not interested in the list or at me :(

It was later at night when I was chatting with SG on MSN and he suddenly went, "OMG! Latte is finally online! Are you ready to meet your long lost twin?"

Of course I was anxious when I heard that, and I straight away told him, "I want!" But I was not ready and do not know what I want to say to Latte. I have lots to say, but do not know where to start from :(

And then before I knew it..

Latte: Hi!

Me: Hi Latte!


A Dream Come True

I knew all these while I am searching for the one,
I am always doubtful when people told me I will be able find someone where I can utter those sweet words,
I never thought I would fell for someone again after being numb for such long period of time,
I am seeking but without any hope and expectation,
Until you came and everything changed...

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Frustration;

The missing kills;

It is time to fly off. Headed to the airport in the morning and bid Darlie good bye via SMS. I kept telling myself, "If and only he could come along...". I'm sure it would happen to any lovebirds rookies lol!

Upon arrival, it was already close to midnight. The wind was strong and icy cold. Again I thought, "If and only he could be here, holding my hand and keeping me warm.
..". Reality hit me and I snapped out of my day dream. Hopped on to the bus and headed to the hotel.

No phone line, no internet availability; no source of communication! Frustrated, I was. Since it was so late, there was nothing much that I could do. Went to bed missing him.


The next morning, It was Valentine's Day. It has always been my dream to really spend time with my loved one on this day. Some of you may ask what's so special about this day. Everyday can be Valentine's. But that won't affect me at all. I just want to feel the lovey day. Sadly and unfortunately, I was like more than a hundred miles away.

In the evening, I finally found out that there is internet available at the mini business centre in the hotel! Quickly, I opened my facebook. It was around 11pm back in Malaysia and I just had to wish Darlie 'Happy Valentine's Day!!' at least. Signed in, and I saw a message from him.

Picture from Darlie

My night ended sweetly by reading his message. *Smiles widely*



The confession;

The morning when I woke up from bed, I felt so peaceful; no worries about anything. The only thing that hit my mind was Darlie. Well, we just had our first date yesterday. Couldn't stop thinking about him. Hence, I texted him "Good morning!".

Spent the whole afternoon doing things slowly as there is no need to rush. Of course, I had to pack as the next day, I have to fly off for holiday. Sadly, Darlie could not come along otherwise it would be like the perfect holiday. But it is all okay.

Just before midnight, or close to midnight, I was still chatting with Darlie. Then it hit me! I knew I could not fly off peacefully without knowing something....

"Before anything, I need to clarify something....."
*3o seconds*
"I think it is pretty obvious where we are heading right?", I asked.

According to Darlie, he was so worried when I said that. I guess the way of me putting my sentences are just bad! Haha.

"Do you want me to be honest?", Darlie asked.

Like seriously... I think we're both messing each other's minds. He was scared that I needed to clarify that we are friends. And he made me think that all these while I'm just hallucinating about the progress of a relationship.

"I like you, Latte!", Darlie confessed.

I do not know how to express myself properly, but bottom line, I knew I was in joy. I confessed too, that I do like him. Pretty cliche love confessions. It was his first relationship and sort of my second. The next thing I know, my internet line got disconnected. I couldn't resist waiting for it to be connected and I just called him straight. We talked and talked till past midnight.

I was so in joy that I could barely sleep. Not really interested in the trip but more towards Darlie. Then I realized, making things clear or not does not make any difference as I would still think a lot lol.

And so it begins...